Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
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ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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