Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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