Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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