My room smells like vodka and shame
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
