im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
