I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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