I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
