who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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