Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
