Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
