i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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