why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
