How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
