Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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