we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
