dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
