I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
