Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize