oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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