She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
