Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If that was your dad, he is hot
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
