I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I had to cum in my sink.
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