just come out here and I will go home with you...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
