I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
