no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
