i think my tv is drunk
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
