she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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