Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize