these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
