He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
