she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
