remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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