I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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