As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
