Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
