He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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