We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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