I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
