Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
