I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
