i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize