it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
