All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
