At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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