i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
