Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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