so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
