I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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