Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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