I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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