You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How external is "for external use only"?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
