That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
