omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i will never coherently bang her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my liver is dry heaving
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
