I think i peed on brittanys purse
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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