its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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