I am puke
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
