i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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